Phoebe Caulfield

Yeah, of course I know Holden; he’s one of the best big brothers in the world! Naturally, I’ve known him since I was born; He was 9 when I was born. The first time I saw him since he left to Pencey earlier in the fall, was when he came home and when he snuck into our house one night. When he woke me up, I was surprised, not in a bad way, I was happy that he came to visit me, but I hadn’t been expecting him. I knew something was wrong though. He seemed to be a bit distracted, always talking about things that were pretty irrelevant. I thought he was supposed to be home on Wednesday, not Monday. I kept asking him about it, but he would just change the subject. It didn’t take me long to guess that he had gotten kicked out of school again. He kept trying to deny it, but he eventually admitted it.

When he admitted it, I didn’t know how to react. I just turned away from him and covered my head with my pillow. I was so afraid of what was gonna happen next. He kept trying to get me to look at him and kept trying to assure me that everything was going to be okay. But the truth was, I didn’t know that everything was going to be okay. I didn’t know anything for sure. I wanted Holden to stay and be a normal big brother. You know, take me to school, pick me up at school, getting to see him practically every day, and him being there for me whenever I need him. When he was away at school, I didn’t really have a big brother to talk to when I needed to talk about things.

I suppose that he already knew this, but I kept telling him that when daddy found out, he was gonna kill him, but he acted as if he didn’t really care. I was worried about what my parents would say, especially my father; Daddy wouldn’t tolerate Holden being kicked out AGAIN. What school he’d be sent off to next. I really didn’t want Holden to get into trouble for coming to see me.

He told me EVERYTHING! He told me that he wants to be a catcher in the rye when he grows up. I don’t exactly understand what he means by that, but I think it sounds sort of interesting, I suppose. Of course, he knows I want to be a lawyer just like our daddy. Holden obviously doesn’t want to be a lawyer, but he supports my decision of what I want to do when I’m older.

It’s not like I see Holden every day since he’s away at school all the time. He’s really the only brother that I have left closest to home. Anyways, he told me all about his time at Pencey; especially about how he hated it. And there were a lot of things he didn’t like about that school. He thinks that school is full of phonies. Well, then again, he’s not really happy with the way things are working out. Since Allie- my other big brother- died (I’m the youngest), I suppose he hasn’t been moving on in his life. And I’m worried.

I told him about school and what was going on in my life while he was away at Pencey Prep. I told him that I was going to act in our school play called, “A Christmas Pageant for Americans.” I was Benedict Arnold-one of the biggest acting roles! I was so excited that I decided to invite Holden to come watch me! Daddy couldn’t come; he had to go on a business trip to California. Holden agreed to go. I was really, really, really excited that he was coming, he had never seen me act in a school play before!

He noticed that I had adhesive tape on my arm. So, I also told him about this boy that was sorta mean to me. His name was Curtis Weintraub- he was in my class at school. He pushed me down the stairs in the park! That was why I had the tape on my arm. I started to take the tape off to show Holden, but he said that I should leave it alone. That boy, Curtis, also keeps following me in the park every time I go. It’s starting to get on my nerves. Holden thought that he liked me, but what did I think? I thought he just plain hated me.

We kept talking for a while. He told me he got me this record called, “The Little Shirley Beans” for me, but that it broke on his way to the apartment. I wanted to keep the pieces anyway. I wanted to remember him by something before he had to leave to school or god knows where again.

Not long after, I heard the front door creak (that door always creaks). I knew right away that mom and dad were home. Holden hadn’t left yet, so I told him to hide. He had been smoking in the room at the time, so he had to put out his cigarette and try his best to get the smoke out of the way, so that our parents wouldn’t notice. He ran to hide in the closet right after that. Just in time too, my parents walked in about 5 seconds later. They were a little suspicious. They thought that I had been smoking-thanks to Holden- , so I had to come up with a lousy excuse saying that I just took one puff then threw it out the window. Mom told me that she didn’t want me to do that ever again. I promised. They both left the room after I promised.

A little bit later, Holden came out of hiding. He said that he had to go now that they were home. I really didn’t want him to leave. He had been gone for so long, and I only get to see him for a little while. It just wasn’t fair!

Right before he left the apartment, he gave me his red hunting hat. I love those kinds of hats, but I was reluctant in taking it. He insisted, so I took it. When Holden gave me his red hunting hat, I couldn’t help, but feel happy. He said that he would try his best to keep in touch. And then, he left.

I love Holden very much, and even though some people may think he has no future, I still believe in him, no matter what other people say.