I was at Old Ernie’s- a recently inaugurated bar- having a great time, when a young man, clad in a black coat and red hunting hat, walked into the place. I couldn’t see anyone with him so I surmised that he was a lonely, young man. He listened to old Ernie play the piano for a while, but judging by the facial expressions he made, I conjectured that he abhored the performance and thought it was despicable. He murmured something under his breath and sat at a table by the wall.
His irascible disposition reminded me of a boy I had met before. When I saw the waiter bring him a scotch and a soda, memories of Holden Caulfield recurred in my mind. I remembered when we would hang out at other bars when he was at Whooton. When I knew him, he was a guile, audacious, spontaneous, and slovenly man; definitely not one to emulate.
Just as I was going to go over and talk to him, another girl approached him, so I decided to wait until she left. I could tell she had an affable manner by the way she greeted him. He tried to be polite by standing up to say hello, but he seemed to have a hard time doing so. I don’t blame him, this place wasn’t the most serene place around.
Their conversation was interminable, so I had half a mind to just forget about him and leave. But because I realized that if I left I wouldn’t get a chance to talk about all the good times we had, I decided not to leave. It looked like he was quite lackadaisical during the conversation due to his lack of enthusiasm. I was able to hear one thing that corroborated my inkling that the man was Holden Caulfield, “Would you, Holden, like to join me for a drink?” From what I could tell, he rebuffed her offer and she left so did he.
I tried to catch his attention by calling his name, but he didn’t hear me. By the time I made it outside, he was already getting into a cab. If I could’ve, I would’ve stopped him, but I was too late.. I accepted that there was nothing I could do, so I walked back into Old Ernie’s, hoping no one had taken my table while I had been gone.
I really like this encounter! Very original setting and perspective, with a enough details from the story to make it seem very realistic. Though, you did forget one comma: "and she left so did he." You would need to add a comma after "she left," but other than that great job!
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